Man, Tara-less is terrible...

I am writing this about everything from this weekend, so it might be long. Oh well. I went to school on Friday and I was anxious to see Tara as usual. So, that wasn’t anything new. I had to take really retarded tests in a few classes and just do some lame-o work in others. Bleh, I really dislike school. During lunch I was with Tara and I had to leave early though. It was dumb. Grrrr. Man, I hate that I can’t ever have enough time with Tara to really get to be content. It was nice to spend time with her none-the-less. I left Dar with my Nny book and I guess it got wet. I was kinda grrr when I heard. I know that its gonna look all crappy warpy and bumpy. Damn. I figure I’ll just buy a new one and probably give the old one to Dar. He’d appreciate it warpy or not. I got Squee’s book recently too, so I am happy for the moment. Man, I love Jhonen’s works. I like drawing his stuff too. It’s simplistic detail. It looks very easy, but it has a lot of textures and little cracks and detail everywhere, yup. Anyway, I had to go home so soon because I had to clean the damn house to make it look immaculate for mis abuelos when they came on Sat. My mom helped me and we cleaned everything. It was really uber clean. So, I went to Zach’s house around 430 or so. We waited around for people to come while we setup the stereo and the table. We also eagerly awaited permission to turn on the Dino-Jump. Man, that thing was soooo awesome. After some time, Ross, and Christine came. They are alright. I was just waiting for Tara to come. I really was looking forward to getting to spend some time with her somewhere where we didn’t have to worry about teachers or parents. It was nice for us to get to be “us” and comfy together. I loved it. Tara was very affectionate and cute. She is so beautiful. I want to be so close to her whenever she’s around. She is the neatest. We talk about all kinds of cool stuff. She is an extremely good conversationalist at times. Other times, I’m just glad to be near her.
I care about Tara sooo much. It’s really surprising. I don’t know exactly how to articulate it right. I like her so much that when I’m not with her, I think about her constantly. I just think and wish that she were there. I think about her killer blue eyes, her soft lips and just the awesome feeling I get when I’m with her. I can never get enough of her. I always want to stay. I never leave on time. I always stay till the last possible second. I loved our time together at the party. I found myself at a loss for words. I couldn’t say anything. I was head over heals for her. I was in heaven staring into her eyes. And feeling the comfort of knowing that even if it was gonna be different tomorrow, at least we had the chance to be with each other and just feel so very accepted. I don’t know what to say. I have her on my mind and I would drop anything to spend time with her. She deserves it. I want to share so much with her. I sincerely hope that she cares and feels that same for me. I hope that she can at least understand how I feel. I am really prepared to be rejected or to find out that she doesn’t feel the same, but whatever. I hope for the best.
I have lots of things on my mind lots of things to say, but all of it is to her. I wish we could have a day of us, a day where we were totally at ease and we could talk about anything and everything. We could be close w/o being bothered by other people.
So, I had fun with Tara at the party. Then, I had to take her home. We hung out in my truck for a while after we got there. Just more time alone to be us. I went beck to the party and I ended up having to take Jenny home. It wasn’t a prob at all, so yeah, I didn’t mean it to sound like it was. Zach and I jumped off his roof onto the Dino-Jump. It was soooo uber radical. Man, it is something to try again. I got up late on sat morn. I did a few chores and watched some Bebop. I did lots of thinking about everything from Tara to Bass back to Tara. Man, I have her on my mind all the time. I hope that doesn’t bother her. I don’t want to freak her out. If it bothers her, I wish she would talk to me about it.
That’s on thing we don’t do. We don’t talk much about our relationship. We talk about lots of other stuff, just not us. I wish I was able to talk to her about everything. She is very deserving to know all about me. I would have no problem letting her into the beehive that is my mind.
I greeted my abuelos on Sat and I went to dinner with my entire family w/o Tara… L. Yeah, it was sad. I didn’t know what happened to her. It turns out she was ok after all. But, I still missed her. It was quite sad. Man. I saw Esty there and he said that when he goes to SD today, he would look for a bunch of HIM crap for me. Buckle and whatever else. I have my fingers crossed. Dang, it would be cool.
I went home and had a pretty deep convo with Tara about the previous night and I felt better. It was really good to hear from her. I had to go to bed and she had to go, so we had to quit our convo. Dang. I got up early for church today and went. At church, I was reading the bulletin and I forgot to get the eucharist. It was really weird. I went home for a few, then to Dane’s. I took Cara to Keja’s house to babysit and chatted with her for a while. I went to work, called Tara talked for a few, worked, picked up Cara, went home and called Tara. We talked and it was nice as usual, but I wonder a lot about a lot of things. Too important to just post for anyone to see. So, yeah. I am doin’ my laundry and I am getting ready for bed, so Jah. Man, I can’t wait to see my babe mañana. Until then, I’ll keep her on my mind. Mmmmm …donuts… I mean … TARA!!! YAY!!!
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-Matt the hopeful fool