Mi dia...

I was going through CD’s today and I got totally freaked out because I was looking through my case and I found two that didn’t have names and I couldn’t remember what they were, and so, I played them. I was much surprised to find that the CD’s were all rap and other horrible crap and that I didn’t have any idea where they came from. It was lame. They sucked really bad. I mean, they were like listening to an entire Usher, Puff Daddy and other tards album. Man, it was lame. Enough talk of the lame CD. I can’t stand the rampant lame-ity Today, Tara started off in a somewhat distant mood. She was all “I better go,” when the bell rang. I was like , “Oh, ok.” It was sad. I didn’t know what happened. I still don’t. I feared that something happened and she was bad at me. So, I went through my other classes with that in the back of my mind, and I had the *Live In Texas* album in my mind. Man that’s a highly recommended album and DVD for any person who is a Linkin Park fan. Dang, I could just watch Chester sing his insane range of voice for hours. The list of songs is pretty righteous. Man, its yummy. Anyhoo, I was alarmed by a horrible grade in English. So, I couldn’t focus in class. I had Tara, Chester, Slom, and a lame character in the story named *T* on my mind. It was nuts. Oh well. I got to Beeson and I couldn’t focus on that either. I had to grade some tests and I was once again shown how ignorant underclassmen can be. They are pretty irresponsible. It’s good to see. *When I look into your eyes, there’s nothing there to see. Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me. Asking WHYYYYYYYYYY!!!* Yeah. That’s another great song. I was puzzled in Econ by the retarded nature of Captain Jack. We had to watch a tape for the entire period about how to fill out tax forms. It was better than most for the mere fact that it wasn’t a worn out 30 year-old tape. Jah. I wrote Tara a note in that class and I was still wondering what was bothering her. At lunch, I had to run to Donut Ave to pick up some Redbulls for JT and Renny. I didn’t really get too psyched about how they tasted. It wasn’t horrible, though it wasn’t good enough to spend 2 bucks a pop on. Nope. Its way smaller than a soda can too. It’s pretty ridiculous. It looks like pee too. I left to eat and DDR after that, and I did. Oh yes. I DDR’ed. I DDR’ed good. I saw Tony Ojeda, Leo Perez and Andy Boy there. It was cool. Long, though cool. Went with my mom to pick my sisters up and then I went to school AGAIN to work on some slom crap. Tara gave me a note that told me not to worry. I wasn’t the root of her mood. It was a relief. Man, I’m a pessimistic Realist. Yeah. So, I apologize. I saw Jenny in Slom’s with John. We schmoozed and then we left. I visited my beloved friends in practice and I went home. There, I took the video’s to the store, checked with Esty and was let down, rented Johnny English and Freddy Vs. Jason. It was busy-ish. I went to pick up the pizza, ate pizza and watched English, called my Tara and had a nice convo. I watched Freddy and I am now here. I guess that’s it. Dang man… I mean, what are you like crap for brains or something? Well, I guess yours truly must depart. I hope tomorrow is prodigious!!! Sexy Tara rocks my crazy socks!!!! *Cheers* Mateo-Bad

A quiz that I tried.

I am Mattie the Orange Cat!I am good at absoloutlyEVERYTHING!Every beanie baby likes me,I am verykind and have mountains of friends. Even thoughI am good at everything,I do not ever show off.I am very playful,hyper and ready to doanything!I love a good adventure!What TY Beanie Baby are you? brought to you by Quizilla

Man, Tara-less is terrible...

I am writing this about everything from this weekend, so it might be long. Oh well. I went to school on Friday and I was anxious to see Tara as usual. So, that wasn’t anything new. I had to take really retarded tests in a few classes and just do some lame-o work in others. Bleh, I really dislike school. During lunch I was with Tara and I had to leave early though. It was dumb. Grrrr. Man, I hate that I can’t ever have enough time with Tara to really get to be content. It was nice to spend time with her none-the-less. I left Dar with my Nny book and I guess it got wet. I was kinda grrr when I heard. I know that its gonna look all crappy warpy and bumpy. Damn. I figure I’ll just buy a new one and probably give the old one to Dar. He’d appreciate it warpy or not. I got Squee’s book recently too, so I am happy for the moment. Man, I love Jhonen’s works. I like drawing his stuff too. It’s simplistic detail. It looks very easy, but it has a lot of textures and little cracks and detail everywhere, yup. Anyway, I had to go home so soon because I had to clean the damn house to make it look immaculate for mis abuelos when they came on Sat. My mom helped me and we cleaned everything. It was really uber clean. So, I went to Zach’s house around 430 or so. We waited around for people to come while we setup the stereo and the table. We also eagerly awaited permission to turn on the Dino-Jump. Man, that thing was soooo awesome. After some time, Ross, and Christine came. They are alright. I was just waiting for Tara to come. I really was looking forward to getting to spend some time with her somewhere where we didn’t have to worry about teachers or parents. It was nice for us to get to be “us” and comfy together. I loved it. Tara was very affectionate and cute. She is so beautiful. I want to be so close to her whenever she’s around. She is the neatest. We talk about all kinds of cool stuff. She is an extremely good conversationalist at times. Other times, I’m just glad to be near her.
I care about Tara sooo much. It’s really surprising. I don’t know exactly how to articulate it right. I like her so much that when I’m not with her, I think about her constantly. I just think and wish that she were there. I think about her killer blue eyes, her soft lips and just the awesome feeling I get when I’m with her. I can never get enough of her. I always want to stay. I never leave on time. I always stay till the last possible second. I loved our time together at the party. I found myself at a loss for words. I couldn’t say anything. I was head over heals for her. I was in heaven staring into her eyes. And feeling the comfort of knowing that even if it was gonna be different tomorrow, at least we had the chance to be with each other and just feel so very accepted. I don’t know what to say. I have her on my mind and I would drop anything to spend time with her. She deserves it. I want to share so much with her. I sincerely hope that she cares and feels that same for me. I hope that she can at least understand how I feel. I am really prepared to be rejected or to find out that she doesn’t feel the same, but whatever. I hope for the best.
I have lots of things on my mind lots of things to say, but all of it is to her. I wish we could have a day of us, a day where we were totally at ease and we could talk about anything and everything. We could be close w/o being bothered by other people.
So, I had fun with Tara at the party. Then, I had to take her home. We hung out in my truck for a while after we got there. Just more time alone to be us. I went beck to the party and I ended up having to take Jenny home. It wasn’t a prob at all, so yeah, I didn’t mean it to sound like it was. Zach and I jumped off his roof onto the Dino-Jump. It was soooo uber radical. Man, it is something to try again. I got up late on sat morn. I did a few chores and watched some Bebop. I did lots of thinking about everything from Tara to Bass back to Tara. Man, I have her on my mind all the time. I hope that doesn’t bother her. I don’t want to freak her out. If it bothers her, I wish she would talk to me about it.
That’s on thing we don’t do. We don’t talk much about our relationship. We talk about lots of other stuff, just not us. I wish I was able to talk to her about everything. She is very deserving to know all about me. I would have no problem letting her into the beehive that is my mind.
I greeted my abuelos on Sat and I went to dinner with my entire family w/o Tara… L. Yeah, it was sad. I didn’t know what happened to her. It turns out she was ok after all. But, I still missed her. It was quite sad. Man. I saw Esty there and he said that when he goes to SD today, he would look for a bunch of HIM crap for me. Buckle and whatever else. I have my fingers crossed. Dang, it would be cool.
I went home and had a pretty deep convo with Tara about the previous night and I felt better. It was really good to hear from her. I had to go to bed and she had to go, so we had to quit our convo. Dang. I got up early for church today and went. At church, I was reading the bulletin and I forgot to get the eucharist. It was really weird. I went home for a few, then to Dane’s. I took Cara to Keja’s house to babysit and chatted with her for a while. I went to work, called Tara talked for a few, worked, picked up Cara, went home and called Tara. We talked and it was nice as usual, but I wonder a lot about a lot of things. Too important to just post for anyone to see. So, yeah. I am doin’ my laundry and I am getting ready for bed, so Jah. Man, I can’t wait to see my babe mañana. Until then, I’ll keep her on my mind. Mmmmm …donuts… I mean … TARA!!! YAY!!!
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-Matt the hopeful fool

That's me, I guess.

Which Unwanted Sexual Gesture Are You?

Creepy

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and makesure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,it can be very satisfactory if he/she is intoyou playing the dominant role MEORW! What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla I guess thats me. I wouldn't know. Ask Tara. I just go with the flow. Man, I love that song. Queens of the stoneage are neato skeeto. Oh, jah. Man, speaking of that hooker face, I guess Dane flicked Hazel's ear; because, I had told him to do so at the x-mas party. When Hazel asked why he did it, he said "Matt told me to." I guess Oh-Jah and Jon were there... fuckin' moochers... and Christen's eyes darted around all pathetically hopeful and she was like, "What?!?! Matt's here? Where's he at?!" Hazel, Noemi, Doc Kelly and Dane all said the same thing. It was really fuckin' sad. I really am scared by that beast. I was glad to have gone to Tar-jea today and not see her fugly ass for once. I'll write more later... SO, until next time Rangers!!!!

My Character!!!

Strong Bad. Wow, you're evil! But that's okay!You're pretty much everyones favorite despiteyour evil ways! Just try not to be so mean toyour siblings or peers! Which character are you from homestarrunner.com? brought to you by Quizilla

Man, I don't know what's up.

I want to apologize to my babe. I have been in a very indifferent mood. I just haven't been pleased with the last few days. It obviously shows. I'm just an ass and I need to get over this shitty mood. I promise to try hard tomorrow. You probably won't read this, but at least its here to be recorded and verify that I promised. I'm glad you're so cool and I wouldn't want to cause problems, so yeah. When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eyeYou're just like an angel, your skin makes me cryYou float like a featherIn a beautiful worldI wish I was specialYou're so fucking special.Ok, thats out of the way. I value Tara and I hope she dittos. ;0)As mentioned before, I was kinda shitty today. Tara got here late and I didn't make much effort to kiss her hello. Damn. She was in better spirits before fourth on her way to Petey's class. Got a kiss there. It was nice. At lunch I lied down as usual and she picked up that I wasn't in too great of a mood, so she kept her distance. I just left to go to work then and when I got there, the instagator Hazel had gone home sick. So, my victim wasn't there. It was boring. Mrs. Thompson told me that I had to wear white socks to work now. Dang. I'm gonna miss wearing my mismatching calsetinas to work. So, I called Tara before I left work and she was in a near nappy state. A little groggy. Yup. That was her. I told her that I would call later, but alas when I called around 8:30 she was already sleeping and probably wouldn't wake till the morning. Oh well, crap on me. I live on a dark world with stars that are soooo bright and desireable that I envy the dismal sky that hugs the hopes and dreams in those lights sooo tightly. I stay up late pondering the paths I've sauntered and look at what lessons I can learn from them. Although most of these lessons were learned the hard way with much pain and distress, I must take what I can from them; So, as not to repeat the lamentable suffering. One of these stars, the farthest and most ridiculous of these lights, is the hope to find love again one day. Some things are only to be experienced once. One of the less meaningful of these is the chickenpox illness. One of the most noted is love. It is far away and not on my mind. It won't be for A WHILE. Till the day I reach out beyond the lightyears for love, I reach for closer desires. I would like someone to like me as much as I like them. I would like acceptance and affection. I would like to feel the life I used to feel. I try to keep my head up and my eyes on the stars, but I can't help and look down to the ground at the rubble I'm surrounded by. It suffocates me and through it all I can see my broken wings. They are shattered and I cut myself on angel's hair. I have to see through my current state and rise above the flame. I look to my inspiration... Tara. Thats how I feel. I have a lot to say. I have lots of thoughts and feelings. I just don't know if Tara will be scared away by them. I don't know and I don't wish to find out bad enough to risk losing her. SOOOOOO, yup.I am tired. I have to take a shower, get clothes ready, get up early and go to Work Experience in the morning. So, I'll see or hear from you all later. Goodnight and uhhh, take care.