That's me, I guess.

Which Unwanted Sexual Gesture Are You?

Creepy

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and makesure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,it can be very satisfactory if he/she is intoyou playing the dominant role MEORW! What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla I guess thats me. I wouldn't know. Ask Tara. I just go with the flow. Man, I love that song. Queens of the stoneage are neato skeeto. Oh, jah. Man, speaking of that hooker face, I guess Dane flicked Hazel's ear; because, I had told him to do so at the x-mas party. When Hazel asked why he did it, he said "Matt told me to." I guess Oh-Jah and Jon were there... fuckin' moochers... and Christen's eyes darted around all pathetically hopeful and she was like, "What?!?! Matt's here? Where's he at?!" Hazel, Noemi, Doc Kelly and Dane all said the same thing. It was really fuckin' sad. I really am scared by that beast. I was glad to have gone to Tar-jea today and not see her fugly ass for once. I'll write more later... SO, until next time Rangers!!!!

My Character!!!

Strong Bad. Wow, you're evil! But that's okay!You're pretty much everyones favorite despiteyour evil ways! Just try not to be so mean toyour siblings or peers! Which character are you from homestarrunner.com? brought to you by Quizilla

Man, I don't know what's up.

I want to apologize to my babe. I have been in a very indifferent mood. I just haven't been pleased with the last few days. It obviously shows. I'm just an ass and I need to get over this shitty mood. I promise to try hard tomorrow. You probably won't read this, but at least its here to be recorded and verify that I promised. I'm glad you're so cool and I wouldn't want to cause problems, so yeah. When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eyeYou're just like an angel, your skin makes me cryYou float like a featherIn a beautiful worldI wish I was specialYou're so fucking special.Ok, thats out of the way. I value Tara and I hope she dittos. ;0)As mentioned before, I was kinda shitty today. Tara got here late and I didn't make much effort to kiss her hello. Damn. She was in better spirits before fourth on her way to Petey's class. Got a kiss there. It was nice. At lunch I lied down as usual and she picked up that I wasn't in too great of a mood, so she kept her distance. I just left to go to work then and when I got there, the instagator Hazel had gone home sick. So, my victim wasn't there. It was boring. Mrs. Thompson told me that I had to wear white socks to work now. Dang. I'm gonna miss wearing my mismatching calsetinas to work. So, I called Tara before I left work and she was in a near nappy state. A little groggy. Yup. That was her. I told her that I would call later, but alas when I called around 8:30 she was already sleeping and probably wouldn't wake till the morning. Oh well, crap on me. I live on a dark world with stars that are soooo bright and desireable that I envy the dismal sky that hugs the hopes and dreams in those lights sooo tightly. I stay up late pondering the paths I've sauntered and look at what lessons I can learn from them. Although most of these lessons were learned the hard way with much pain and distress, I must take what I can from them; So, as not to repeat the lamentable suffering. One of these stars, the farthest and most ridiculous of these lights, is the hope to find love again one day. Some things are only to be experienced once. One of the less meaningful of these is the chickenpox illness. One of the most noted is love. It is far away and not on my mind. It won't be for A WHILE. Till the day I reach out beyond the lightyears for love, I reach for closer desires. I would like someone to like me as much as I like them. I would like acceptance and affection. I would like to feel the life I used to feel. I try to keep my head up and my eyes on the stars, but I can't help and look down to the ground at the rubble I'm surrounded by. It suffocates me and through it all I can see my broken wings. They are shattered and I cut myself on angel's hair. I have to see through my current state and rise above the flame. I look to my inspiration... Tara. Thats how I feel. I have a lot to say. I have lots of thoughts and feelings. I just don't know if Tara will be scared away by them. I don't know and I don't wish to find out bad enough to risk losing her. SOOOOOO, yup.I am tired. I have to take a shower, get clothes ready, get up early and go to Work Experience in the morning. So, I'll see or hear from you all later. Goodnight and uhhh, take care.

Well, today was errr yeah.

Well, today I was fuckin' cold. Freakishly cold. I got to school and things were all bleh. It was pretty great how Ren and Mick were wearing essentially the same outfit. At school it was like couples were magnetically repulsive. I was standing with Mick and a few others while JT and Tina were in another group... eventually we were both alone. I felt like couples are just left alone to do their thing and no one else wants to feel like a third wheel, so they disperse. Dang. It was lame-o. I don't think Tara liked that. It was like a thing that makes you say, "Oh, right. Things are different when you're a couple. Crap on this." Man, I'm very pessimistic. More than I knew. I always have things going on in my head. Lots of debating with my depressed side. I fight it. I have a lot of shit that makes me want to say "Fuck it all!" Pretty lame, I know. But thats what makes me always assume the worst. I always think that Tara has found a reason not to like me. There are plenty-o-reasons, but I can hope to change.It was pretty funny in first period because Shaw and Casillas were messin' around and capping on eachother. Andreas was laughing at Wilfred and things were right again. It was cool. In Slom's we just fucked around and it was kickback. In, Keja Love's I graded Semester Projects. It was quick work. Oh-Jah. Cris commented on my Jack bag. I'm surprised she didn't say anything about my sic SOAD shirt. A lot of people noticed and commented on my buckle. Man, its neat-o. I love it.I love:1. Bluntness2. The Flash3. System Of A Down4. Red Hot Chili Peppers5. Being myself with good friends6. Having deep convos with Mick, Kyle and Deanna7. Nny8. Squee9. The Life Of Brian10. Voltaire11. Playing Bass12. Comfy Jeans13. Black Shirts14. Affection15. People who say what they mean and stand by their words16. My Messenger Bag17. Thinking18. Wrestling19. Trying to make my life better everyday20. MUSICThat's that. Yup. I hope things go better. I went to a Jr. Aux meeting today. I was el presidente and I went to work too. After the kinda bleh meeting, Lexie, Brittany and I went to McDonald's and watched Ron watching us. Bum BUM!!! Got bored and went to Donut Ave. Saw Jay there and his mom. Said hi and then I DDR'd with Nick Arambula. Zach showed up and we discussed his possible B-Day thing this Friday. I think D and I are gonna get him THUG. He wants it and we want him to have a Dino Jump at his party. So, its a compromise. We'll see if she agrees. I think she will. I got home and called Tara. We talked for almost an hour. I hope things go better tomorrow at school. Things go much better when we're alone at home or in the truck or anywhere but school.Tommy on 3rd Rock From The Sun was kissed by this chick and she left him all "I was just checking if you were gay." Then she walked away. He was all let down and he said, "Hey, don't start the motor if you can't mow the lawn!" It was great. And Topher Grace is being called Mr. Nude. It's pretty funny.Thats all my rambling for today. Till next time my small audience. Tara Rocks My Sexy Socks.Your Truly,Mateo the Morbid

Well, its been a while.

Ok, I wrote a lot of crap about two nites ago, but shit happens and oh well. The internet ate it and deleted it. I was too pissed to write it all over again. Man it was a lot. Well. I ended up going back to LA on X-Mas. I got 6 fuckin' awesome CDs and a Deftones shirt. It's kuh-razee cool. I got to hang out with my cousin Franklin and I got to ride my first quad. It was cool. A little difficult, but it got easier. For my *virgin* ride, it went smoothly. Yup. I think that every night I was up there, I called Tara. So, she was my link to sanity. I love my family, but man, they're a bunch of crazy cats. While I was up there, my uncle made some Gumbo. It was soooo goooood. Man, I loved it. It wasn't spicy really at all, but all the wieners in my family were suffering. They couldn't hang. They underestimated the 50 million ingredients in the gumbo. Anyway bleh.It was good to see Tara when I got back. We went to my aunt virg's house and ate. It was cool and then we hit the arcade. So, yup. I enjoyed my time with her. A lot of other crap happened, but I am all BLEH. I will just write about yesterday and today I think. Well, yesterday after I got up, I worked with papa till 12 and then about 1 Stu called and wanted to chill. So, I went over and before I did, I ran into Jon from Esty's group of friends. WE chatted for a few, but thats it. Went to Stu's and played his new X-Box. Its neato. Jah. We helped his dad work on his car. Fish came over and then we played some tunes. I went to the movies with Tara to go see Paycheck. It was jawsome. Man, I thought it was pretty creative. Tara gave me these EYES during the movie. They were pretty and I liked them. She just looked at me then we locked eyes. It was quite something. I'm not sure what it was, but it was something. Tara and I went to Sonic's for some Beverages. Then we went and heard a pretty cooool song by Fish and Stu. I had to take her home shortly after but I returned to Stu's we hung out till 2315 or so. I rushed home and crashed. Today, I got up and worked outside for a while, I tried to call Tara, but it was in vain for a long time. I just hung around eventually. I talked to Cris for about an hour about *crap* and then I was in a super horrible mood after that. I called Tara and she was going to go to Jenny's house to sleepover. I was all *Oh... nevermind.* I could've used someone to talk to. But, who am I to complain. The fact that I have anyone is a miracle and I should be thankful. I miss the guys. I miss Mick, Zach, JT, Renn and John. Oh well. I have to wait a few more days to see mi crew. Arrggh!!! Kiss me, I'm a pirate! yup. well. err. Oh, went to the Vid Store and I talked to D. I got to see Nina and Jason. They were pretty cool to see. Then went to the D-Ave w/her and them. After a while it was just us and we talked a good convo. She's always very helpful and wise. So, yeah. We talked life and our significant others. Then I came home. Here I am. All loser-ish and loner-ish. I'll call my Tara mañana and I have to work too!! crap. Dane returns tomorrow though it will be late and too late to work. So, I'll be a loner. Yipee...fuckers. Well, yours truly must get his usual 5 hours of sleep, so here I go. Good night I say and live well. Tara makes me smile.