Man, I don't know what's up.

I want to apologize to my babe. I have been in a very indifferent mood. I just haven't been pleased with the last few days. It obviously shows. I'm just an ass and I need to get over this shitty mood. I promise to try hard tomorrow. You probably won't read this, but at least its here to be recorded and verify that I promised. I'm glad you're so cool and I wouldn't want to cause problems, so yeah. When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eyeYou're just like an angel, your skin makes me cryYou float like a featherIn a beautiful worldI wish I was specialYou're so fucking special.Ok, thats out of the way. I value Tara and I hope she dittos. ;0)As mentioned before, I was kinda shitty today. Tara got here late and I didn't make much effort to kiss her hello. Damn. She was in better spirits before fourth on her way to Petey's class. Got a kiss there. It was nice. At lunch I lied down as usual and she picked up that I wasn't in too great of a mood, so she kept her distance. I just left to go to work then and when I got there, the instagator Hazel had gone home sick. So, my victim wasn't there. It was boring. Mrs. Thompson told me that I had to wear white socks to work now. Dang. I'm gonna miss wearing my mismatching calsetinas to work. So, I called Tara before I left work and she was in a near nappy state. A little groggy. Yup. That was her. I told her that I would call later, but alas when I called around 8:30 she was already sleeping and probably wouldn't wake till the morning. Oh well, crap on me. I live on a dark world with stars that are soooo bright and desireable that I envy the dismal sky that hugs the hopes and dreams in those lights sooo tightly. I stay up late pondering the paths I've sauntered and look at what lessons I can learn from them. Although most of these lessons were learned the hard way with much pain and distress, I must take what I can from them; So, as not to repeat the lamentable suffering. One of these stars, the farthest and most ridiculous of these lights, is the hope to find love again one day. Some things are only to be experienced once. One of the less meaningful of these is the chickenpox illness. One of the most noted is love. It is far away and not on my mind. It won't be for A WHILE. Till the day I reach out beyond the lightyears for love, I reach for closer desires. I would like someone to like me as much as I like them. I would like acceptance and affection. I would like to feel the life I used to feel. I try to keep my head up and my eyes on the stars, but I can't help and look down to the ground at the rubble I'm surrounded by. It suffocates me and through it all I can see my broken wings. They are shattered and I cut myself on angel's hair. I have to see through my current state and rise above the flame. I look to my inspiration... Tara. Thats how I feel. I have a lot to say. I have lots of thoughts and feelings. I just don't know if Tara will be scared away by them. I don't know and I don't wish to find out bad enough to risk losing her. SOOOOOO, yup.I am tired. I have to take a shower, get clothes ready, get up early and go to Work Experience in the morning. So, I'll see or hear from you all later. Goodnight and uhhh, take care.